A Nose Bleed Saga

Firstly, thank you to everyone who responded to the post last week announcing the nose bleed. Lots of well wishes and concerns for my well-being and health were sent. My heartfelt gratitude to you all.
                                                          

Tuesday last week my nose started bleeding which is not unusual this time of year given the heat and very low humidity index. I’ve had too many of these inconveniences to be worried about. Remedies included a wad of tissue stuffed up the ol’ schnoz, holding still until the blood letting stopped, and taking it easy for a while afterwards.

This time was very different when I felt the onset of a gusher while at work. As I trotted towards the men’s room I held the offending nostril closed. Entering I grabbed tissues and paper towel then made for the end stall to sit. After 10 minutes I pulled out a red wad of tissue quickly followed by even more blood flowing like the Grand Coulee dam releasing water after opening locks on the spillway.

Shoving more tissue up the nostril did not help. Looking around I realized this episode was beyond my means to stop the flow. As fear and adrenaline started their mischievous ways I quickly assessed my next steps:

Call 911
[Great!, I thought: “What’s the nature of your emergency?”  “Man stuck in 9th floor restroom stall with serious nosebleed.”]   [NOPE]
Next option:
Ask the guy in the next stall for help
[“Hey, buddy, I’ve got a serious nosebleed and could use your help.”  “Uh, ok. What do you need?” “Actually, a ReALLY BIG nose plug!”]  [NONE ON HAND]
Call 911
[“Wait, we’ve been down this road before.”] [NEXT]
Go to the emergency room - only 20 minutes away
[Yah, we can do THIS!]

Side note: never tilt your head back during a nose bleed ‘cuz the blood will find its way dOwN your throat. MAJOR YUCK!

Taking out the latest wad of red goop replacing it with paper towel I made my way from the stall to my work area, got my stuff together, mumbled something about going to the hospital to anyone who could hear me, and left the building.

Elvis would have been impressed.

Carefully navigating early afternoon traffic on I-25 while driving my truck close to Mach 1 while holding my nose closed I managed to get to the hospital within 20 minutes. Would have been quicker if not for the red light after exiting the highway.

After walking quickly to the ER entrance I stopped to empty my pockets before going through the metal detector.  Yeah, like I carry a weapon around town. Actually, this IS Colorado, so anything is possible. During the first 7 months of 2023 at Denver International Airport, officers found 93 firearms in travelers' carry-on luggage at TSA checkpoints. So, there you go.

OK, passing the checkpoint, thankfully without klaxons (or Klingons), I checked in quickly and was taken to a first stage room to check my vitals (all good here!), and to remove the now very red blood soaked paper towel followed by removing a long blood clot that almost made me puke. The nurse placed a plastic clamp on the bridge of my nose, but with the distinct shape of this proboscis thanks to my Eastern European heritage, the clamp popped right off.  After two more attempts another nurse who came in placed it on the nostrils where it stayed. I couldn’t breathe and had to resort to mouth breathing which for me is actually harder.

Next, we went to the ACTUAL ROOM where the nurse said to lay back on the table and hold still until the doctor comes by. Like, I’m going to tap dance around the room?  

Doc comes in, removes the clamp and, oh yes - that’s right, removes the cotton plug that was shoved up the nostril to the frontal lobe, proceeds to put a scope up my nose and says, “yep, it’s irritated.” [No SH*T, dude!]

Following the application of two different sprays and another ‘hold still’ period of 10 minutes, all is good in the land. The nurse GIFTS me with one of the bottles of spray, more nose plugs, several nose clamps and instructions to make an appointment with the ENT specialist.

The appointment with the Ears, Nose and Throat guy is three weeks out. Sigh.

For now I’ve got saline gel to spray up my nose, the other bottle of serious nasal decongestant spray from the hospital in case my nose bleeds again, more cotton plugs just in cases, and something new that was recommended by my sister,  a bottle of Naysa nasal oil (Aryuvedic) to help heal the membranes. (Is it plural or singular?)

Still a bit of bleeding but not nearly as much. THANKFULLY! 

Maybe the ENT doctor will have more to say about that.

So long for now.

Glenn

Imagined and written by a real human bean.